It had been a long work day so we decided to head over to Flanigan’s for a drink and quick bite to eat. The first thing that caught my attention were the two breast cancer awareness bracelets she wore. I couldn’t take my eyes off them.
Her name was Terri, and she was our waitress for the night. Eventually I gave Terri a card to my blog and with that she began to share the story about her twin sister, who had also struggled with breast cancer. She also shared that they both made and sold the bracelets she was wearing as a way to give back and help other woman also struggling with breast cancer.
At the end of the night, she gave us each a bracelet and her sisters contact information. I couldn’t wait to learn more. In fact, a few days ago I contacted her sister and must say she was a complete joy to chat with. Her love for life and passion for raising awareness matched that of my own and surprisingly our stories were very similar. We’ve both had a lumpectomy followed by a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction.
While I have yet to meet her in person, I certainly look forward to it. I also look forward to one day being a part of their “Save Our Sister (SOS) team”. Each woman has their own story and within each story is the desire to live life to the fullest. http://teamsosmiami.net/team/members/
I’ve said it before and I will say it again, we all have a story, share it. I never thought mine was significant enough to share considering how blessed I’ve been to not have gone through some of the treatments others have gone through but in reality, every story is important, no if, and’s or but’s about it…
I’d like to say it was about a year ago when we made a pit stop at Dunkin Donuts for a delicious coffee and snack, only to run into a very special young lady. She was so sweet and it was extremely refreshing to be around a person with such good energy after a long day on the road.
Prior to leaving I shared my contact and blog information, and to my surprise, she opened up to me about her mother, whom if I remember correctly lived in Cuba at the time. Her mother was going through her own journey with breast cancer and I could see and feel the sadness in hers eyes as she shared her moms story.
She was living so far away and I could only imagine how much pain she was feeling and the frustrations of not knowing what to expect. My heart went out to them both and till this day I keep her and her mother in my thoughts and prayers.
Truth be told, the memory of her kindness and warm embrace helped keep me motivated after being diagnosed the second time around. Knowing that in that moment I was able to provide her some kind of support, was a reminder of what I feel is my journeys purpose.
It’s not just about the support I get from others for sharing my story, it’s more about the support I can provide others in the process that really brings me joy and gives this whole experience true meaning.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s been an extreme blessing to have so many wonderful and kindhearted people supporting me throughout my journey. I honestly couldn’t imagine what it would be like without all of you being a part of it, which is why I want nothing more than to be there for others. Simply put… we can all use a helping hand every now and then.
It was within the first few weeks of my being re-diagnosed with breast cancer that I decided to go out to one of my favorite local restaurants close to home called Tarpon Bend. This time, I sat by the bar and did a little people watching while the thoughts of the news I had only recently received flowed through my mind. In fact, I think it was one of the first times I had even given it time to really sink in.
I can’t remember exactly how the conversation started but I do remember sharing the news with the bartender and talking to her about my blog. Bartenders are like magicians, they somehow posses the ability to make you feel like you can just talk about anything. Of course, a mimosa or two can certainly help get the conversation started. 🙂
Her name will remain nameless as she shared some personal details of her life and it wouldn’t be fair for me to attach a name to the experience but, I do want to talk about what she shared.
I believe she was about 18-19 when her and her friend decided to get free mammograms that were being offered. Of course at that age you would probably think to yourself, why would she do that? I believe she had mentioned there was a family history and since the opportunity was there, why not? I’m so glad that she did. When the results came back, she was informed she had to undergo more testing and sure enough, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. As she told me the story I wanted nothing more than to hug her. My heart fell to the floor at the thought of someone so young going through something so frightening.
After our conversation I excused myself and in the restroom let the tears flow. It finally set in and I just couldn’t be the strong “rock” everyone was so accustomed to seeing. When I finally left the bathroom and started paying for my tab, she did the most thoughtful thing I could have imagined in that moment. She stepped out from behind the bar, gave me a hug and told me that I was a warrior and she knew that I was going to come out of this okay.
In that moment I felt like she was another sister of mine, giving me the support I so desperately needed. I look forward to one day soon going back and seeing her again. I would love to share all that has happened since, and thank her for sharing her story. She reminded me that even though there were tough times to come, I too could come out of this smiling and living life exactly as I choose to live it…
A cancer diagnose will bring even the strongest individual down to their knees, regardless of the stage. It’s something we’ve all heard about but never really think will happen to us. The ugly truth however, is that it can happen and it changes your life in an instant.
After my cancer diagnoses, all I could think about was cancer. Before I knew it I was buried in articles and books, all relating to breast cancer.
I remember researching and stumbling across women who had been diagnosed with breast cancer but were far more advanced than I was. It made me feel blessed that I wasn’t as advanced, yet insignificant all at the same time. Like I was crying over spilled milk. Why couldn’t I find more women who were going through something similar and were willing to talk about it. I felt terrible talking about how I felt emotionally with someone that was worse off than I was. How dare I complain, right? Still, with that being said, I had a voice and needed to be heard. I had fears and needed to express them, but to who? Who would be able to understand how I felt and remind me that it was okay to feel that way?
This is why I wanted to take a moment and encourage you to please share your story. I never wish for anyone to feel the way I did, trapped and feeling guilty for being so sad. I promise you that you will be making a huge difference in someones life.
This message goes out to the Caregivers too. Don’t think even for a moment that I have forgotten you.
You know first hand that caregivers need just as much love and understanding as the patient themselves do. Your insight might be just what other caretakers need to help get them passed a hurdle or two. Sharing your journey will also remind others that they aren’t alone. It will even help us, as the patient, better understand some of the struggles you go through.
I really hope that at this hour I’ve been able to really express just how important it is to share our experiences with one another. No story is to small, and no moment of sadness less worthy of a shoulder to cry on than another. This is why I blog…
It was only about 2 weeks ago, that I was blogging about how my first week at my new job going. Since then, so much has occurred. My first 2 weeks at the gynecology office had gone really well. My coworkers were great and it felt amazing to be in the workforce again. However, traveling was proving to be a little tougher than I had anticipated it would be. I was finding myself spending anywhere from 2-3 hours of my day, driving to and from work. I didn’t think it would be such an issue considering I had traveled long distances before for work, but it was really starting to wear me down. Luckily, I had planned a vacation prior to starting my new job and it would serve as a good break for me to recuperate.
It was August 16th, when we hopped on a plan heading to San Francisco, California. I was super excited to embark on another new journey. This time I was doing a spiritual retreat in Mount Shasta. I honestly didn’t think much of it at first. I just knew we would be hiking, meditating, and doing some yoga. That alone was a great vacation in my book.
Our flight from Ft Lauderdale, Florida to San Francisco, California was 6 hours long, and Mount Shasta was a good 5 hours away from San Francisco.
For the record, I would recommend arriving in Sacramento or Redding, California instead. It will easily cut the drive time in half. If you don’t have that option, plan to stay the night in San Francisco and drive up the next morning. You’ll be happy you did.
Upon arriving at the lovely Mt Shasta Bed & Breakfast, we checked in, I placed my bags on the room floor and passed out like a baby after a heavy meal.
The next day, I showered up and made my way to the dining room where breakfast was served daily to all of the house guests. There, we slowly began to meet some of the individuals that were also partaking in the spiritual retreat. They were all very sweet and pleasant to talk with. Each with a unique background and wealth of information. As much as I enjoy being a social butterfly and talking to others, I found myself happily listening to each conversation, eager to learn more about the people I would be spending the next 7 days with.
Later that morning, we explored the town a bit and decided to rent some mountain bikes. The sun was out and there was a cool breeze in the air. With the view of the beautiful mountains surrounding us, it was hard to deny myself the desire to ride again. We mounted our bikes and cruised through the city and eventually made our way to lake siskiyou. It was so beautiful to see a big lake surrounded by such a majestic mountain. When I took a closer look, I could see the locals swimming and canoeing, while others played fetch with theirs dogs. In that moment, I began to feel grounded again. The fast pace of the city was drowned out by the nature all around me. I could have stayed there all day, only we had to return the bikes to the store and make our way back to the bed & breakfast for our first group meeting.
Andrew, our group leader, and his partner in crime Lauren, welcomed us and gathered us into a circle. One by one, we were asked to introduce ourselves and express to the group why we were there. In other words, what did we expect to get from the retreat. I was honestly looking forward to some time off. However, when it was my turn to speak, the most natural explanation to leave my mouth was, “Since being diagnosed with breast cancer, I’ve wanted to stress less about the little things in life and focus more on living my life and my true purpose”. I can’t recall if I worded it just so, but it’s pretty close to what I remember saying. I don’t even know where the words came from. I hadn’t met any of these people before, and here I was, sharing such a personal experience without flinching a muscle. I have blogged about it, yes, but never have I spoken to such a large group of people about it. In that moment I knew that this “vacation” was going to provide me with more than just time to meditate, hike, and do yoga. I was going to continue my growth in a way I had been longing to for some time and I look forward to sharing my experience with you all…
I’ve decided to share what is becoming one of my favorite breakfast foods. It’s so easy, anyone can do it! The recipe I’m about to share with you is for banana pancakes. All you need are the following ingredients, a blender, and presto, you’ve got yourself a delicious pancake batter!
Writing and sharing my journey hasn’t been as easy as I thought it would be. It’s made me relive a lot of moments I’ve learned now I hadn’t dealt with. On the other hand, it’s allowed me to work through those emotions with all of you as my support system, and for that, I’m extremely grateful.
The truth is, no matter how severe it is, cancer is scary, period. I can’t tell you how many times I heard, “breast cancer is such a popular thing now a days and is so much easier to treat, you’ll be fine”. It’s true, there are many treatment options today, however, that doesn’t change the fact that cancer is frightening, and that there is no way of determining if treatment now will guarantee you won’t have it again in the future. Nevertheless, I found myself thinking those very thoughts and even repeating them in conversations with others. I had brainwashed myself to think that my journey wasn’t that big a deal.
If you are currently going through your own cancer journey, please know that you are entitled to feeling however it is that you are feeling. It may be sad, scared, angry, confused or all of the above, and hiding it from the world, or denying those feelings will only make it harder to deal with later. It will also make it hard for those around you to understand your needs. If you come across as though everything is perfect, people will do the same and not offer the assistance you may need. My experience showed me that it wasn’t others that didn’t understand my feelings, it was me that wasn’t being honest about what I expressed to them. Communication is key, and though it doesn’t mean you wont ever deal with a difficult situation, it will keep you from creating unnecessary road blocks along the way.
It doesn’t hurt to be forgiving either. If you do come across a person that has a nonchalant attitude regarding your situation, try not to get to worked up about it. Often times, the response comes from lack of knowledge or the inability to express themselves well. The news will come as a shock to them, and their first reaction may be to say the first positive thing that comes to mind. It may not be what you want to hear but, do your best to put yourself in their shoes and take that opportunity instead to educate them by sharing your experience.
One other very important thing is remembering to do your part. As a cancer patient, it’s easy for us to lose site of the struggles our loved ones are going through because we are thinking of our own. At times it even feels like we are going through the worse parts of the journey alone. Just remember though, fearing the loss of someone you love or watching them suffer is also hard on your loved ones. They too are confused and have no control of the situation. No matter how much they wish they could take your place or make it all better, they can’t, and that can be difficult to cope with. So be patient, communicate and just like they do their best to make things easier for you, try to plan a “time out” for them so that they too can be physically and emotionally balanced.
Lastly, I want to thank you all again for reading and continuing to follow my journey. I don’t have all the answers and still have more to learn but, I’m embracing the changes that come my way and looking forward to sharing them with you in hopes that someone out there will find it helpful… 🙂