Heading to beautiful Naples this weekend to visit family. It’s gorgeous out and if I’m lucky I might even make it to the beach while I’m there. 🙂 Rest assure however that you will have the continuation of my personal journey waiting for you Monday morning as my story has only begun.
As usual here I am on my quest to view the world in a fun and different way. What do you think? “A” for effort? 🙂
I’ve always been the type to have “plans” for almost everything. Looking back I’d say I lived my life with far too much structure. When things didn’t work out the way I planned them to I was a complete basket case. And though planning can be good to some degree, this can also be your “Achilles Heal”. The disappointment I felt from my failed attempts at life’s challenges were so great that I wouldn’t allow myself to move forward and grow from my experiences.
Falling in love is a perfect example of my failed attempt at being single. This was in no way part of my “master plan”. Instead it was a magnetic pull that was greater than me. Of course with this came lots of change and desires to try something new. To experience life outside of what I already knew and the structure I had become so comfortable with. We talked for months about my moving but I kept asking myself, “how could I do this”? I loved my family, my job and my friends. How on earth was I going to leave all of that stability behind over a simple desire to experience something more? Why were my feet so firmly rooted into the ground?
Then, as the light bulb in my head turned on, I realized what my biggest problem was. It was me. I was so scared to switch gears into “Plan B” and get out of my comfort zone that I was robbing myself of the opportunity to experience life in a new light. I had yet to learn that it was okay to be spontaneous and I realized that I was far more uncomfortable than I thought with change and giving up control of my own life. After much consideration though, I had made my decision. I was moving at the end of December. That was my new plan and nothing was going to stand in the way of that happening. I was finally being what I called “spontaneous”.
I gave my notice in October so we could find a great replacement and once we did I felt so at ease knowing things were going to go well after I had left my job. What happened next, however, was completely unexpected. It was the power of the “law of attraction” working its way into my life once again. Only this time the universe wasn’t sending subtle hints anymore on how I was going to be able to learn to lose control and live life to its fullest. It was no longer giving me an option of left or right. The universe simply said, “you want to break free from your own fears and live life to the fullest? This is how you will learn to do it”.
“You’re too young.” Those were the words I heard after asking if I should be concerned with the mass and micro calcifications they found in my left breast during my first mammogram and ultrasound. I asked if it’s something I should have checked again in the near future and the response was a simple, “because you are so young I would simply recommend for you to have it checked in 2 years.” “There is nothing you need to worry about.”
My mind felt at ease and I was so comforted by how well mannered and educated the doctor was when giving me my results that I ignored my gut feeling telling me to push for another follow up within a couple months or to have more testing done. I even ignored my right to a second opinion. I felt guilty for even questioning this man who was so polite and had taken the time to explain everything in what I felt was such great detail. A man who had gone to school and had many years of experience. Working in the medical field myself and realizing that I may be overthinking things because of all I’ve seen with my patients, I quickly set aside the gut feeling and wrote it off as my being a hypochondriac. After all, he’s the professional and knows what protocol to follow, right?
Well, that logic made sense at the time so I decided to go about my daily life and follow the recommendation to do another mammogram and ultrasound in 2 years. That was the early part of January and it was a new year. I was single, working full-time and going to school part-time. I had moved back home to save money and take time out for myself to grow spiritually and figure out what I really wanted out of life. Things were going well and with this great news, I was able to keep moving forward with my plans…
This is my first blog and boy am I nervous but, it’s been suggested to me on many different occasions by my partner to write about my journey so, I decided to stop thinking about it and just blog. Talk about everything from my diagnosis with breast cancer to everything that’s happened since. My recovery, treatments, my support systems, my life as an athlete, my decision to move to a new city and start a new career, traveling and exploring new cities and cultures. It’s been a very interesting 7 months!! Nevertheless, I sum my journey up as “A gift that came with a pink ribbon”, and even through the most difficult times, I’m happy I was chosen to live this experience as I’ve grown in ways I wouldn’t have otherwise.