This year has been an interesting one to say the least. I went back to school to begin my studies in Communications with an emphasis on Public Relations, have stumbled across some interesting challenges (aka opportunities) in my career, adapted to several changes in my family dynamics, began working on rebranding my nonprofit, developed major back pain issues and learned that I shouldn’t have waited so long to seek medical attention because it could be cancer related, and well, as is the case for many, the list goes on. But before I move forward with my 2018 plans, let me clear the air on the big “C” word.
I underwent several tests but it was the bone scan that came back with the news that the cancer had not returned. Phew! A little recommendation to those of you that have had breast cancer, please don’t ignore back pain symptoms or write them off as “something I can get through” like I did. It could very well be a sign that the cancer has returned and is presenting itself in your spine. I didn’t know this myself, but I guess it’s all part of the learning process. Thankfully all I need at this point is a little more yoga in my life and to be making some better “back saving” choices (i.e. not wear heals all the time, etc.) and I’ll be “A” okay. 😉
So now what’s in store for 2018?
With the end of the year quickly approaching, and after starting a new read called The Diamond in Your Pocket: Discovering Your True Radiance(by Gangaji, Forward by Eckhart Tolle), my new focus for 2018 is to live more in the moment by truly acknowledging my state of being and health in every experience I have and/or create. I feel it is only then that I will expand my knowledge and tap into who I am at the core; building a greater appreciation for my courage, integrity and emotional flexibility, rather than taking it all for granted. I look forward to 2018 and the changes and opportunities that will come with it. Whatever your goals are for the new year, make 2018 the year in which you create the space for you to be and energetically feel greater than you could have ever imagined! That is my wish for you…
There are truly a number of things that I am thankful for, especially my continued good health. Just a few weeks ago I celebrated the 4 year anniversary of the day I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, and though I was diagnosed again about a year later, I am happy to say that I have been cancer free ever since!
Strangely enough I still find myself adapting to my new “norm” but all in all I feel great, and far more in tune with what I want to achieve in this lifetime. I’ve kept very busy with work, Gift With A Pink Ribbon and school, and it is all bringing me closer to doing what I love most, and for that I am extremely thankful.
But none of this would have been possible without the love and support of my family, friends and the big man upstairs, who always finds a way to keep me grounded.
So while there are a million things that don’t always go my way, like my participation in the New York Marathon that I had to postpone, there are a million and one things that go exactly as they should, even if I don’t always see the moment in which each puzzle piece falls into place.
Long ago I read a quote by Melody Beattie that said…
“Remember the words you were told when this last adventure began, the words whispered quietly to your heart: Let the journey unfold. Let it be magical. The way has been prepared. People will be expecting you. Yes, you are being led.”
This resonated with me on so many levels. First, when I realized after being diagnosed with cancer that I wasn’t alone, and that those who came before me, had placed in my path an abundance of tools to help educate and guide me through the process.
I came back to this quote recently and the words, “let the journey unfold”, now made even more sense, when I took a leap of faith and started my nonprofit Gift With A Pink Ribbon, Inc. Everything I had gone through in my journey, and even in my new career, were tools to prepare me for my new venture.
Have you ever asked yourself, “why am I here” or “why am I going through this journey”?
I encourage you to “let the journey unfold”, by trusting the process and experiencing what may come of it. Sometimes the mere process of what you are going through, is preparation for something greater than you could have ever imagined. Embrace it, and with “the words whispered quietly to your heart”, manifest in your life what you are most passionate about.
You can find Melody Beattie’s, Journey to the Heart, on Amazon by clicking here. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have! 🙂
January 2015 has come to an end and we are quickly already approaching the middle of February. Where does the time go?
I don’t know that I’ll ever really find the answer to that question, but I can say I have accomplished a lot since the year started. I wanted to enter 2015 with the same tenacity I had moving into the big city. I was so excited and felt like I could conquer the world!
This small town girl however was in for a surprise. I struggled so much with the cultural differences when I arrived. As the time went by, the aggressiveness of the city was turning me into an overwhelmed mess. Not to mention only recently I had received news of further studies that needed to be done regarding an area in my left breast. Seriously?
I was starting to think of all the bad things that could result from the stress and the ideas that lingered in my mind and they were starting to eat me up inside.
That’s when I decided to reset my thoughts and focus on the goals I wanted to accomplish, and not on the things I disliked around me.
One of my first goals was to run the Miami Half Marathon I had registered for the previous year. The challenge here was that I hadn’t run since the last one in 2014. In fact, The most I ran the entire year was a distance of 1.25 miles and that occurred less than a handful of times. My work hours had been long, but worse was the way my medications were making me feel. I just didn’t have the energy.
Nevertheless, I wanted to get back into the game and this race was a special one. I know I’ve said that about many others, but this race was the one I ran while undergoing radiation the year prior. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it than and I could do it now.
The race was a beautiful one as always. I ran the first 6 miles feeling sore but great all at the same time. It was after mile 6 that my body broke down and my emotions were at an all time low. I was starting to break down and so many thoughts were running through my mind. “Why are you putting your body through this torture?”, “You didn’t train and weren’t ready for this.”, “You were so much faster last year, look at all those people running by you.”
You know that saying, “You are your own worst enemy”? It was never more true than in that moment. If I had listened to my thoughts, I would have parked myself on the side line to wait for someone to pick me up and bring me to the finish line.
That however was not about to happen my friends! It took a few pep talks but I finished that race with my run/walk combination and it felt amazing!!!! What a great sense of physical accomplishment. 🙂
Could this year get any better???
Yes it can!!!
It was that same week that I was officially turning over my old position as “administrative assistant” and walking into my new one as “assistant property manager” in the building I started working at last September of 2014. This being a completely different career for me felt like the greatest accomplishment. I couldn’t believe how quickly I was able to move up in the company and I was honored to have been given the opportunity to do so.
To make this opportunity even greater, I received news that I had been accepted into the mentorship program I applied for back in October, after working less then 2 months with my company!! I remember reading the beginning of the email and my jaw dropping in excitement. This was such a blessing and was going to be such a great tool to help me grow as an individual in my company. 😀
All of these blessings have helped keep my mind at ease about the uncertainties that have previously cluttered my mind. Most importantly, I learned that all I have is “Now”. I need to “seize the moment” as they say and make the most of my “now” so that I can get to where I want to be in life.
Planning for the worse has only proven to keep me from doing the things I really want to. It made me less adventurous and taught me to always play it safe. Life isn’t always about walking the straight and narrow though. You’ve got to allow yourself to be creative and follow your heart. It may not always make sense but if you want it, you’ve got to reach out for it. Not matter the diagnoses or the obstacles.
So to all of you out there who think you can’t do it, I have a message for you…
After our first group meeting, we headed out for our first hike. Our destination, Fairy Falls, was not very far from the bed and breakfast. Once we arrived, we each took the opportunity to enter the fall, giving ourselves a fresh new start to our individual journeys. I remember slowly making my way to the water and freezing up the moment I took my first step in. The water was colder than any water I’ve ever felt. My first instinct was to run and reject the cold water like I normally would. Then, someone said, “come on, who’s going to be the first girl to enter the fall”?
That’s when the insane competitive side kicked in and said, “come on, be brave, you can do it!!” I guess, having a slight competitive edge paid off this time because it was just what I needed to drum up the courage to walk right into the fall and lose myself in the moment. It was so cold and I could barely stop shaking enough to keep myself standing. I remember screaming “Mahalo”, like those before me, and feeling an instant surge of energy run through my body. It was as if my body had finally woken up from the stagnant stage it had been in for so long.
One by one, others followed, as those who had already entered cheered them on. We then found a spot of our own along the stream to enjoy our surroundings. It was beautiful and peaceful. You could hear the wind blowing through the trees, the water from the fall and it flowing down the stream, and the birds singing songs of joy. Though I suppose in their own language they could have very well been asking each other who’s bringing what to the next family gathering. Lol
The following day after gathering again as a group, we carpooled up to Crystal Lake. It was a short hike to the lake, and the spectacular area where we all enjoyed lunch together while soaking up the nature around us. I felt so lucky to be living that moment. To often, I have a million things running through my head and a to do list, like many, that never ends. There, the only thing I had “to do” is enjoy that moment.
After a group meditation and healing exercise, we made our way to the lake for a refreshing swim. Now, when I say refreshing, I mean it was really cold. Granted, I’m a Florida girl who has been guilty on many occasions of complaining about the beach water being cold where I live, but this really was cold! For me at least. I promise not to complain about my beach again. All in all though, it was very nice, and I had yet another chance to do something I normally wouldn’t have done.
On our way back to the B&B, I received a call that completely made up for the cold water I had jumped in. While at the falls the day prior, I had asked god to please continue to provide me with opportunities for growth and to help me find balance in my career. I was spending so much time on the road, and I wished nothing more than to be closer to home. If only I could move the office closer to me, right? Well that call was just one of the few gifts this journey and god had provided me with. I was offered a job in the city, about 15 mins away from home, making much more than I was currently making, and with many additional benefits. It was the package I had been looking for when I had previously interviewed for the company. At the time the position hadn’t been available, and out of no where, BOOM, there it was!
Never in my life had I done such a crazy thing, but I accepted. In that moment, I couldn’t believe the opportunity I was presented with. I also had no idea how I was going to inform my current employer of the life changing decision I had just made. I had always pride myself in being loyal to my employer, and here I was deciding to leave after only 2 weeks. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity though, and I had to follow my intuition.
I spent the rest of my afternoon thinking of what I would say to my boss. Was I going to tell her by phone? Would I wait till I got back? The new executive administrative position I had accepted was ready for me to start as soon as I got back home. I felt however that I still needed to provide some sort of notice and I wanted to do so as soon as possible, even if it meant doing it by phone. We had a 3 hour time difference and I had reached my room late that evening. The call would have to wait till the following day…