Today marks 8 days before my reconstructive surgery, and while my expansion has taken much longer than I had originally anticipated, I couldn’t be happier with where I am today. My surgeon has been amazing throughout this process, and frequently reminded me to be patient, when what I wanted most was to be done with this phase in my journey.
Now that the day is just around the corner, I’m beginning to feel a bit anxious. Ironically enough, I don’t feel worried about the surgery at all. It certainly isn’t the first time for me, and I’m looking forward to feeling more comfortable with my new implants.
What I am feeling now however, subconsciously taps into a previous feeling. It’s a feeling of “loss”. The memory of having “lost” my natural breast a year ago is hijacking my brain, and is now reenacting that loss with the upcoming removal of my expanders. It’s an interesting observation, and I wonder if other women have or are experiencing this feeling of “loss” a second time around too.
Nevertheless, I feel extremely blessed to be here a year later, cancer free, and ready to move forward with my reconstruction. I plan to keep everyone posted with videos and posts so keep an eye out for my pre-op and post-op updates! 😉